The Story Of Persephone

 It is now day 7 of Lent.  No caffeine.  i am beginning to think that my thoughts are a little bit clearer.  i thought about writing down the story of Persephone for you.  Start to finish.  Just the things i can remember.  

Persephone was not always Persephone.  She revealed to me, not to long ago that her dead name was Stephanie.  Here, all this time, i had thought that Persephone and Stephanie were two entirely different people.  Up until she confessed that her dead name was Stephanie.  Once she told me, for a while i was in disbelief.  So, i will tell you a little about how i got here, wondering why she blocks me.  

my brother and me had been invited to a website called the Rambling Irishman on EZboard, by our cousins once removed, the Bavidos.  It was a homeschoolers message board.  As both of our families were homeschooling, it only made sense that we would sing up for "The RI" hosted by Brian Daily.  Mom did not want us getting into the more philosophical debates, but she did let us each get in on a couple of topics.  We joined the RI in about March of 2000.  I met a lot of girls on the Rambling Irishman, including Kristin(Sunny), Alyssa, Debbie, GG Flora, the Bookworm, whose identity still remains anonymous to this day.  i also met Melissa on there too.  Later in life, Melissa and me met in real life.  

But before i met these other fine ladies of the RI, i first met Stephanie, or Persephone.  i first e-mailed icanslamsatan randomly hoping for a penpal.  She e-mailed me back and told me she was Stephanie, that she lived in Florida with her parents, and brother and sister, Dorothy.  That was in about April 2000.  i remember Mel Gibson's The Patriot came out about that time.  i remember seeing it, and realizing that Virginia was on the same side of the country as Stephanie.  It kind of made me like that film, because it made me think of Stephanie. i still remember her telling me she had finished her school when she was still 16.

Stephanie and me, it seemed connected pretty well.  At first we just chatted on AOL Instant Messenger.  Then, we got permission to write letters.  i sent a tape to her too, where i recorded myself talking.  i forget what i said on the tape.  Maybe it didn't make much sense.  Anyways, eventually Stephanie and me were allowed to talk on the phone.  i still remember hearing her voice for the first time!  It was so exciting.  

Even though we were allowed to talk on the phone we still remembered to write, and i remember receiving beef jerky from her, and pictures a couple of different times.  One, she was in a nice dress she had made.  It looked like a party goin from a bygone era.  Stephanie originally chatted as icanslamsatan.  But, she made a new nickname as well: Sneff.  Sneff had me read William Wallaces Judah Ben-Hur story.  It was so fascinating.  All about the life and times of when JESUS was on earth.  

i felt like me and Stephanie were connecting really well.  A desire was born in me, to meet her.  But i wasn't sure how.  She lived so far away.  But i felt it would have been neat if she had made it up for one of the RI gatherings, that seemed to happen mainly in Washington.  But this was never to occur.

Stephanie called me, and told me she was moving to Houston Texas.  A place called The Woodlands, with her aunt and uncle who lived there.  She was going to go to school there.  Two years of public education, and then on to four years of college.  About this same time, i started signing up for the NAVY.  i remember i got one more letter, and this one was from someone named Persephone.  

Then, i remember chatting with Persephone.  Persephone made me think she was a relative of Stephanie.  She sent me a picture.  She sure was pretty too.  She even explained that Stephanie was gone.  i became confused, because i knew i missed chatting to Stephanie.  But who was this?  Had Stephanie held out on me?  Well, anyways, Stephanie was on her way to Houston.  i knew she was not at home any longer, so i left off writing her.  i continued to want to write and call her, but i think we had a couple of chats before she left for Texas.  i just remember the times chatting with her, and calling her, and writing her as the happiest times of my life.

on August 25, 2001 i finally had joined the NAVY's DEP program, for enlisting, and going to Basic Training.  A couple of days passed, and i realized i should let Stephanie know i had joined the NAVY.  Plus, now that she was in Texas, would be a good time to ask her if we could meet.  i called her Mom, and asked for her number.  Mistake number one.  As soon as i called her, she called me a stalker.  i was hurt.  It was like getting shot in the chest to be called a stalker over the phone.  But that was the first thing she said to me.  i realized there might be some kind of misunderstanding.  i didn't know what to say, so i remember getting off the phone quickly, so i could go and think what this meant.  She asked me not to call her again.  So, i never called her again.  We never wrote any more letters either.

Persephone chatted with me for a while, but she then suddenly stopped chatting with me.  It was like night and day.  It bugged me, but there was nothing i could do about it.

Instead, Sneff would sign on, block me and unblock me.  But she continued to chat with me while doing this.  She shared her UT degree plan with me for instance, with Introduction to Historical Research circled.  i remember, because it ended up on our computer at the time.  i would go and look at it sometimes.  i always imagined that i would want to go to University of Washington, but someone was showing me a different path, now.  Remember, this was after the tragic events of September 1, 2001.  

In 2002 my family moved to Texas.  Life changed dramatically, for me.  i was still waiting to join the NAVY.  i was now in the same state as Stephanie, only a few hours away from where she lived.  What an exciting feeling for me.  But now what?  Well, we continued to chat.  She did welcome me to Texas, sort of.  It was nice to chat with her again, where she didn't seem to be blocking me.  i ended up attending a class at TCCC (then) for math, and worked at a Subway for a little while.  While i lived at our new house, i never heard from Stephanie.  She was obviously busy with school it seemed, and so was i.  Plus i started dating Carol.  It would always go this way, where i thought Stephanie, and then Persephone was done with me, only to hear from her again.  Sometimes at crucial moments where, it was just good to hear from her.  Or, in one case from somebody, even.  Probably more than once.

i reported to Basic Training on 10 March, 2003.  At RTC.  While there, i learned what it took to be a United States NAVY sailor, and seamanship, and even some firearms training, and fire fighting training.  i remember donning the Oxygen Breathing Apparatus (OBA), and thinking, "So, this is what Darth Vader wore", remembering how Darth Vader's looked on him, i was able to put mine on the first time up, i remember without any help either.  i didn't write to Stephanie this whole time.  in fact, i didn't think about her the entire time, because i was writing someone named Elizabeth Rivers at the time.  After Boot Camp, during Liberty Weekend, i met my family, and the Robinsons, and we had a good time.  That last night, i didn't have duty, so when i was finished with visiting with my family, and they had left.  i went to the computer lounge.  i got on a computer, and chatted with among others, Sneff.  i told her about graduating Boot Camp, and how i was going to be going to Pensacola for "A" School.  She had given me specific instructions to update her where i was at all times.  

After i got to Cory Station, i had a bit more liberty.  After a while i could even go out into town, on my own.  i found a Pizza Hut there i enjoyed going too.  But i was in Florida, Stephanie's state.  i would think about her sometimes, even though i did call Rebekah.  i bought a phone just so i could call her, and my family.  But, sometimes i would go to the internet lounge on Cory Station, because it was located along with the McDonald's on base.  i would get on the computers, and sometimes Sneff would be on.  We would chat then too.  It was so neat.  i feel bad about one thing: i never told her just how much i wanted to meet her, until much later in life.  i also went with Keonna Fletcher for a while.  She was from New Jersey, and we happened to be in the same class for "A" school as well.  

After i finished "A" School, i was stationed in Yokosuka, Japan.  i still chatted with Sneff.  No word from Persephone in all that time.  Sometimes i would just not sign on to AIM because i wanted to try and move on from Stephanie.  During this time, it never occurred to me, nor was anything hinted to me, that Persephone and Stephanie were the same person.  If someone had told me that, i would have become confused.  

i reported to Stephanie where i was of course.  She gave me her school e-mail address.  That was something!  i was direct support for the NAVY out of FCAC at NSGA Yokosuka.   My first deployment was on USS KITTY HAWK CV 63.  Right before i got underway, was when she gave me her school e-mail address.  i still remember it: srpoppy@utexas.edu.  While i was underway, we exchanged quite a few e-mails while i was underway, and i knew, she was doing her classes.  In one e-mail, she promised, one day she might become my boss.  i liked that idea.  This was from February 2004 to April 2004.  

Another time where i remember chatting with Sneff, was on USS JUNEAU LDP 10.  i know, i was in the NAVY, but that underway was so long, it felt like it would never end.  The other people with me, seemed to express the same sentiment.  Regardless, one night i logged onto AIM, and Sneff was there!  Online.  We chatted.  She was in Morocco.  i wanted to tell her, "That's where they filmed part of Star Wars".  But i didn't do that.  Instead i just enjoyed our chat, and made sure, without telling her, not to get blocked.  It worked!  After that chat, i was just fine for a while.  i had no idea, that some seemingly random person i met online, could have such an impact.  i never forgot that chat, or the feeling it gave me either.  She was there a couple of different times where no one else could be.  

After we finally got back from the Juneau, i think we had a rendezvous online.  i signed onto Collarme, and somehow she figured out i was there.  But i didn't realize this till later.  She gave me a nickname, "Weird".  i chatted with Sneff on AIM one final time.  In August 2005, we chatted.  She was in Florida again.  She told me she was going to travel to Israel.  i was so excited for her.   

i was now stationed in Misawa.  My Mom had just left.  i wondered how Stephanie was doing.  i remember i e-mailed her and just asked how she was doing.  i thought i had moved on.  She e-mailed me, she told me she had moved to Australia, and gotten married.  it was so neat to hear from her again.  This was in 2007.  i tried e-mailing "Stephanie" a couple of different times, but she didn't answer.  i figured she was done with me, then.  

Every so often Persephone would chat with me, under different aliases it seemed.  i did not realize that Persephone was "Stephanie", i thought they were two different people.  if had known that "Stephanie", was Persephone i would have told her, "i love you".  She chatted with me a lot in fact.  It was neat, but sometimes her statements were off the cuff i thought.  But it was Persephone, so it was ok.  It was while i was on the USS GEORGE WASHINTON, that Persephone gave me the nickname "Weird" again.  She simply asked me, "Not to talk about Stephanie".  As i had asked about her.  See, how for some reason i thought to ask Persephone about "Stephanie"?

As i said.  Time would pass, and i would think, "Well, that must be the last of "Stephanie", but as you can see Persephone was chatting with me (On Yahoo at those times).  But sure enough, i would hear of Persephone, or from Persephone.  It was 2015.  i was out of the NAVY, and about to start school at UT of Arlington and TCC.  My grandmother was on her death bed, and one of my cousin's shared a page of "Stephanie's" Where she had pictures of herself in the Middle East, which was her studies in school.  After my Grams died, i took over caring for Max.

i was finally at UTA all settled in.  Minding my own business.  i had not thought of looking Persephone up on Facebook.  But, i was in the middle of all classes, Intro To Historical Research, when Leila, "Stephanie's" daughter contacted me.  She told me she was worried about her mother.  i was not sure who she was at first, so i asked, "Who is your mother"?  She simply shared the Facebook link.  i remember friending Persephone, and chatting with her for a while.  But then, she blocked me.  i was in trouble, i realized.  This should have been a clue that Persephone was "Stephanie".  This was in 2017.  i all but forgot about this encounter.  

Then in 2019 i was in the back of a FedEx trailer as a package handler.  i had also joined the NAVY reserves.  Suddenly, i thought about "Stephanie", and managed to get the whole trailer loaded by myself.  i still did not understand that "Stephanie" was now Persephone.  

In 2020 January 29, i got into a car wreck.  It was a devastating collision.  It was deemed my fault.  i was knocked out from the impact.  All i could think about was "Stephanie" (Persephone).  i talked to my Mom about Stephanie, which i sometimes did.  My Mom suggested looking up "Stephanie" on Google.  So, i did.  A couple of things came up, including a Linkedin and a Facebook for Persephone.  This should have been a clue, but i failed to get it.  i went and friended her, and we chatted for a while too.  It was so neat to hear from Persephone again.  Then, suddenly she said, "We are not suited to a friendship.  i wish you well".  She blocked me too.  i was crushed.  

i was not sure what to do.  So, i confess i began looking up "Stephanie".  i found several blogs of hers.  i also ended up finding a couple of my own blogs.  i ended up making a new blog where i wrote using Persephone's surname.  i should not have ever done that.  Because i did this, though, she ended up contacting me though.  We had a nice long chat.  This was in 2021.  

Finally, in 2023 on Facebook i was in an argument with someone.  i had made a reel where i mentioned "Stephanie".  Whoever i was arguing with must have watched the reel.  He said, "Stephanie agrees with you".  In our last chat, Persephone had finally explained to me that "Stephanie" was her dead name.  So, i simply explained this to the other person.  i went back to see if there were any replies, and all of his replies had been deleted.  It was as though his account never existed.  Only my reply remained.  So, it was true, Persephone was following me on Facebook.  She had had his account deleted for mentioning her.  

At last, i went and decided to friend her again on Facebook.  She had unblocked me.  So, that was hopeful.  I friended her, and left her a couple of messages, including a picture of the farm.  Now, i regret that because she blocked me again.