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My Day To day

 I feel the anxiety over my life.  The only thing which gives me peace, is the Lord Jesus Christ.  I smoke, but my cigarettes do not give me peace.  Instead, what happens when I smoke, is that my thoughts, I can more easily let go of them for a time.  Life is fleeting.  Life is precious.  Always fight for life even when everyone else says "neigh" towards it.  I look towards God, and find myself wishing I didn't smoke.  I cut it out with the other thing i used to do.  Now, I am down to smoking.  To honor God I want to give up smoking.  I think this will help with my anxiety.  Even though my thoughts will build up.  Maybe I will be better at taking care of myself too.  I sleep better at night.  My heart rate goes down.  Instead of smoking, I went for a walk and that made me energetic.  it is hot outside.  But that is ok.  By not smoking I will have more time at work.  I mean, I don't understand why I smoke so much.  Everything else I can kind of go without.  But when I don't smoke I feel it.  The desire to smoke grows and grows until it reaches a boiling point.

I just accept myself and my weaknesses.  Maybe this is a part of the process.  Learning and growing.



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