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My Thorn In The Side

 Gabe says, I need to let her go.  But how, when I always get reminders of her?  This is so frustrating.  Let me confess, is that she hurt me.  Ok.  I was angry.  But I still love her.  For some reason, and I want to be able to tell her, and her family, who she connected me with, that GOD loves them.  I have not been able to do this yet.  So, I hold fast.  Gabe is absolutely right.  100%.  I have tried it over, and over.  It is all because, when I was on the bus, I heard "Awesome GOD" by Rich Mullins for the first time.  I dedicated, to the budding relationship, with her, and her family.  Then, something happened.  Now, she forgets me.  Everytime I hear that song, I think of the relationship.  2000.  Best year of my life, as we chatted, wrote, called, and even sent a tape of myself speaking to her.  Yet, in the end, she said I was "a stalker" and that I was obsessed with her.  When I tried to move on, she chatted with me.  Yet, she continued to chat with me.  This was in 2001, the day before 9/11.  When I first connected with her, I had a vision of what she looked like, too.  So, when I saw her picture, I already knew what she looked like.  I know, this all seems strange, to still want to connect with someone from so long ago.  But I believe in the GOD of the impossible.  He compels me, to not give up.  

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