Gabe says, I need to let her go. But how, when I always get reminders of her? This is so frustrating. Let me confess, is that she hurt me. Ok. I was angry. But I still love her. For some reason, and I want to be able to tell her, and her family, who she connected me with, that GOD loves them. I have not been able to do this yet. So, I hold fast. Gabe is absolutely right. 100%. I have tried it over, and over. It is all because, when I was on the bus, I heard "Awesome GOD" by Rich Mullins for the first time. I dedicated, to the budding relationship, with her, and her family. Then, something happened. Now, she forgets me. Everytime I hear that song, I think of the relationship. 2000. Best year of my life, as we chatted, wrote, called, and even sent a tape of myself speaking to her. Yet, in the end, she said I was "a stalker" and that I was obsessed with her. When I tried to move on, she chatted with me. Yet, she continued to chat with me. This was in 2001, the day before 9/11. When I first connected with her, I had a vision of what she looked like, too. So, when I saw her picture, I already knew what she looked like. I know, this all seems strange, to still want to connect with someone from so long ago. But I believe in the GOD of the impossible. He compels me, to not give up.
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